I really don't know why suddenly, after a few days of cheeriness and everything, I suddenly fell into a deep, dark hole of despair. I suppose I can only be thankful that Christmas and New Year's Day passed in a happy buzz. Well nothing exactly "happened", it's probably just self-induced.
This year doesn't look like it is going to be an easy one. I think I had it relatively easy last year, and I am quite wary because I know good things do not last long.
My brain is quite overworked with so many things to mull over. I wish I could talk about them here, but even then I don't think it will significantly minimise my brain activity. As expected, I've been losing precious sleep too. I can't get to sleep and I can't stay asleep. I need to stop obsessing about being a failure, I guess.
I felt so blue today all I did was hide in my room. I ate nothing but muesli and milk because I just couldn't stomach anything.
I am just such a weird person. I mean, I can feel nothing towards hurtful things some people have said or done, but then I can't allow myself to overlook my own weaknesses.
I need to just ignore my conscience once in awhile. Do what my heart is saying I should do.
Sigh.
I hope I get more sleep tonight.
- 8 January 2007 12:57am -
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